I had a strange addiction….
So, this morning I had a tough time meditating. My phones notification light kept blinking and it was making me annoyed and I wanted to see what it was.
Now, I’ve trained myself to not scroll through social media early in the morning or certain times of the day. But just seeing that darn light triggered a physical impulse in me. Like my arm wanted to just reach out to the phone but my mind said “No!”. It was tough, no joke.
During this “fight” between body and WILL, I discovered a couple things.
1) By just closing my eyes, I’m merely ignoring the problem. Sure, it would have been more easier, but then I wouldn’t have been able to strengthen my WILL.
2) This was when the thoughts came in. Thoughts about why is this annoying me, thoughts about moving it somewhere else. I realized by analyzing the problem, it still masked it! I wasn’t able to strengthen myself because the impulse was still there no matter how much I tried to think it through.
Only by sitting there – forcing myself to sit through the impulse, facing it, quieting my mind, and sitting in the darkness and silence – did the impulse go away. It was fleeting just like the many daily impulses we all get.
The key to strengthening your WILL is to face those things you don’t want to face. Sit in silence. Let that silence teach you and guide you.